The emotionally cost-free practice

Dear Chris,

I read your “Tips” booklet on the train while I went up to London on a course last week. One tip was getting help with maintaining an emotionally cost free practice. I will say that ending the relationship with my associate cost me quite a bit at the time, although now of course I am quite over it and I look forward to a much improved working relationships for next year.

Please have you any further advice on how to try and detach myself from the stress of such situations?

You cannot “detach” yourself from the stress – stress is what happens when you lose control.

That can happen in a traffic jam/delayed flight with no explanation.

It can also happen when we lose control to somebody else’s performance or behaviour – as with the associate.

My own “antidote” is to have an inner circle with whom I can discuss:

• the situation and
• how I feel about the situation

These are two different conversations – and I always like to separate them.

I’m here for you on both counts.

An emotionally cost-free practice is one in which the team are in conversation – remember my conversation schedule:

• daily huddle
• weekly reflection
• monthly management
• quarterly goals
• annual retreat and celebration

Dare I say it again?

All problems exist in the absence of a good conversation.